Impossible. Inherently. Any spiritual or moral course. Chesterton wrote, 'When man goes straight, he goes crooked.'
The most difficult course that I strive to 'stay' is the faith course, i.e. that of claiming God's report over my life, versus all other reports. God's 'real' over my 'real'. In and through Christ, the 'door' (Jn 10:9), we enter our eternal place of being. Here, through faith, we access our truest identity, our 'forgiven self', our 'righteous' self. This is not an easy place to stand, when our feet feel the land of a different kingdom. But it is here, my brothers and sisters, that we are called to stand. This is the journey and course of faith, and its path will become brighter with every passing day... (Proverbs 4:18; Isaiah 1:18; Philippians 3:12-14; Hebrews 4:11; Hebrews 11:6; Galatians 2:20; 1 Peter 2:24; Colossians 3:3; Revelation 2:17; 2 Cor 10:3-5; John 16:11; 1 John 1:21)
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A genuine person can be false sometimes. A false person can be genuine. Some of me is real, some not, and always a live, spiritual pursuit. I think the most childlike prayer when we see ourselves act, or see ourselves see, is to ask to be made new. This is not the same as self-loathing; it is a true cry to be redeemed, restored to factory settings, to what was intended for, in and through me.
The difference we yearn for, for example, is between true innocence and naiveté; or true confidence and fear; true peace and denial... What we often settle for, however, and strive in, is to 'fake it till we make it.' We put on a facade in the hopes it will become a real face. As time goes on I feel like I'm thawing out or firming up, or both, or neither: becoming real by degrees and half degrees. Standing on Spirit, building on Word (Heb 1:3), on the authority of blood and not reason (Rev 5:9; Heb 12:24). I see things I did not see before, like peace in a storm, or God's goodness in a ravished land (Mt 6;63; Jn14:27). The prophet Ezekiel speaks the promise of God to his weary people, 'I will put a new spirit in you, and give you a heart of flesh for your heart of stone.' (Ez 36:26). 'All things new', is the promise of Christ (Rev 21:5). The story of redemption and heaven is much like the story of life right here, right now: completely spiritual, miraculous, deep and beyond the mind of man. So many of the best movies and songs are reaching, even touching, but not 'knowing'. Tragedy is not so much that we lost the past or even the future, but that we have lost - right here right now - this present moment. We sit with our loved ones and ask somewhere deep within if we have ever really known this loved one.
Eternity is in the hearts of mankind. (Eccl 3:11) This side of eternity was dealt a fatal blow. Truly. Through our sin, our rebellion against God. Life crumpled to its knees, and rock was no longer built on for life, but cut into for tombs. The most shocking story of all time, costing God his life and you and I ours, is the 'Gospel'. The story and spirit of death being put to death, and blowing through our streets now in spirit to carry us to everlasting life. Read it, and enter it (John 4:24; 10:9). But here and now I am struck by these sleeping beauties, my loved ones. I sit here doing everything, by doing nothing, by not moving. They will wake soon, and I know they hurt to rise and see me gone. I will stay here. My nothing is their everything. I look at them and wonder how, when, and will I ever take in this miracle before it is gone. Oh, Jesus, help me to 'be still and know you are God' (Psalm 46:10), and to be still and know what and who God has given me for a short while. Jesus was a 'man of sorrows', and it was the Lord's will to 'crush him' (Isaiah 53:4,10). He knew this. He lived with this. He spoke of his own coming crucifixion (Mt 16:21).
Many people sentenced to death take their own lives before the sentence takes it from them. Jesus uttered words of the darkest sentiment: 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow, even to the point of death.' (Mt 26:37). Jesus navigated life on a level of the deepest empathy with those most hurting: he wept with us (John 11:35), was moved with compassion over us (Mt 9:36), moved with pity towards us (Mk 1:41), and yet breathed words of life into those places and spaces. He promised that through himself, the 'door' (Jn 10:9), we could live eternally (Jn 11:25-26), and know rushing waters of life from within. Jesus was led by the Spirit of God to the desert to be tempted by the Devil. He self-starved for 40 days lest any comfort or fortitude might be attributed to his physical strength. He was surrounded by wild animals, but angels were also about him (Mt 4:1-11). At one point in this cosmic nightmare of desolation, the devil challenges the fabric of his identity ('If you are the Son of God¼'), and leads him - tempts him - from the top of the highest local jumping place. Jump to your death, and God will catch you, give you life. What is suicide, but the seeking of life, not death, through death, not life? Jesus, tempted to jump, indicated that in this - this which he was being 'tempted' by - he would be testing God, which is not right. Have you been tempted to jump? Hebrews 4:15 says that we have a 'high priest', Jesus, 'who was tempted in every way', and so can 'empathize with us in our weakness.' Call on him. |
AuthorPeter Walker. I hope you enjoy these reflections. Please feel free to comment!:) Archives
February 2024
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